Hogtown Navy Flotilla Debriefing Report
By Mark Tumarkin
I'm proud to report that the Hogtown Navy successfully completed the assigned mission, and even happier that we accomplished this without any casualties. The flotilla departed from the Hiway 27 bridge, just north of High Springs, and floated down to Rum Island without any serious mishaps and even in time for our pickup appointment. Not that the latter was very amazing, we told them to pick us up at 5 o'clock, giving us six hours to do a two and a half hour trip. But we needed every fun-filled minute.
We didn't exactly tackle the river in accepted military fashion. This was a chaotic, relaxed and low-key float trip. There were seven canoes, two kayaks, eighteen people, one keg of Bass, and uncounted coolers full of backup beer and food. If the river didn't carry us on its' own, it would have taken us even longer to make the trip. We weren't exactly setting any speed records. But we may have set the record for having the most fun.
We certainly were having more fun than most of the people who passed us on the river. We started offering beer to the more friendly looking folk. Very few actually took us up on it. Were we that scary looking? Two young ladies actually took us up on the offer, had some beer and joined us for a while. We kicked the keg of Bass shortly after they joined us. That didn't deter them and they continued to float down the river with us.
They left however, after certain parties (who will remain un-named) started pimping Fred. No, actually they stayed through that and one almost seemed interested. They left when the conversation turned to the Nude Brewers. Ladies, count yourselves lucky; we are the people your mothers warned you about.
We stopped at Lily Springs for a while to visit Ed, have some lunch, and swim in the spring. It was a near perfect spring day and everyone had a great time. I don't think anyone enjoyed it more than Kayla. She was soon comfortable enough to hop from canoe to canoe and ride with various members of the flotilla.
After returning to the Canoe Outpost, we reclaimed our vehicles and headed back to Gainesville. Most of us reconvened at Market Street for dinner and more beer. Dr. Bob magnanimously offered to buy the first round (our free one). A great way to end a beautiful day.
Another Hogtown Navy mission successfully completed.