Good news for beer drinkers!
Mark Tumarkin

As you all know, the mainstream media seems to dwell almost exclusively on disasters and other bad news. The following good news is brought to you in an effort to balance the the typical media fare.

The Prost -- March 2000 (the newsletter of the San Andreas Malts)

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. X 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer. Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature.

The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down! Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.

We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

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On another topic, just as food for thought (or drink for thought, as the case may be) -- The following is from the May issue of The Prost --

Bible study reveals: Jesus made beer.

The study of the oldest Bible texts, written in Aramaic (the common language spoken in the Middle East during Jesus' time) suggests that Jesus turned water into beer, not wine, during the wedding feast at Canaan. The old texts talk about "strong drink", and about "lines of ale vats".

It is very logical to think that people drank beer in Jesus' time. For starters, Egypt and the Nile Delta was known as the main exporter of beer all over the Mediterranean world. Grain was the most important crop for the Middle Eastern people. The Middle East had far more fertile grounds, and was considered the grain barn for the Roman Empire. The oldest texts about brewing beer have been found in the Middle East. People at that time certainly didn't drink water. It would have killed them.

In later translations of the Bible, centuries after the fact, beer was replaced by wine. Why? Wine was considered a drink for the happy few who could afford it. Already at that time, the wine marketers succeeded in giving wine a more upscale image. The translators wanted to suggest that Jesus would only offer the "best" to his family and friends. Jesus was the hero of the common people, fighting the establishment. Why wouldn't he drink what everybody else was drinking? When you think about it, it is very possible that the drink at the last supper was also beer.

Michael Jackson, the international beer hunter, believes also very strongly in this theory.

-Brian Weatherman